When Your Deadlines Are Self-Imposed: Why Family and Friends Don’t Get It"

People understand your "musts" when it comes to external limitations, but do they understand when those limitations are self-imposed?

I see it like this: If your boss tells you to be in the office, people understand you have to be there. But if the obligations are self-imposed, without a clear deadline, like "I need to work today because I have my own business," they don’t understand that. They think you can handle everything else and that work can come second. I’m mostly referring to family and friends here. When you say you need to work and take your laptop to a coworking space, they don’t get it. To make them understand, you often have to frame it as if you have external obligations. Why? Because they don’t stick to their schedules. If you're not being directly pressed by someone else, they assume you're free. So why would your mother-in-law look after your child when you're "choosing" to work?

But maybe it's not something to get angry about. It’s just a projection of others, because they themselves aren’t capable of sticking to a plan and getting things done without external supervision.

The only question is, should you try to teach your surroundings (or at least the most important people) about the necessity of sticking to your own schedule? Or should you just create external obligations they can easily understand? I wonder what you think.